Torch, Pot, and More

Potash Corporation (POT) and Agrium (AGU) soared today as Russia announced that it would halt wheat exports. This news comes after one of the most severe droughts in the country which has greatly affected production yields. “They need more POT!” Shouted Andy “Raw” Kibbens, co-CEO of The Markets Are Open, from his trading desk early this morning after learning the news. Reports of Gibberella ear rot, a pink-colored fungus that grows affects corn in North America were also in news articles this morning. “I need some too. I don’t want my portfolio to rot.” Kibbens added. Potash is a key fertilizer ingredient which helps plants store more water and fight off disease.

AT&T (T) was up moderately as investors believe that by embracing the new BlackBerry Torch, many of the Telco company’s network problems will be solved. AT&T’s service has suffered greatly since they adopted the bandwidth-guzzling iPhone. “BlackBerry is the only device that will work in crisis situations.” Said Research In Motion (RIM) co-CEO Mike Lazaridis. The new WebKit browser is more efficient and is said to use one third the bandwidth of other rival phones. Analysts have very high expectation for the new BlackBerry. “I’ve demoed the Torch,” Kibbens muttered hoarsely, “and I want one. No other device lets me send as many emails, messages, texts, and conferences as a BlackBerry. I’m almost 10 times more efficient as my ‘fellow’ traders using their clunky iPhones and dumb phones. And the web browser… now that’s something…” He trailed off and continued trading.